We have crossed into a territory that is new to me. I am a woman. I experienced many things as an adolescent, a teenager learning about my body and what was happening to it, how to handle it, what to do, what not to do. All of my experiences from two perspectives – my own, but mostly, a female’s.

I will save you from the stories of angst and pain I suffered. The stories of humiliations I experienced. I will spare you because as an adult I believe that even those I saw during those years of “having it all good” most likely have their own stories of pain and humiliation, just as I suspect you do, too.

My oldest child is a girl, a daughter. So I felt fairly well prepared to assist her when she needed it as she approached that place when we feel like we are aliens in a new body, learning new things about ourselves. Telling her all the urban legends I could remember from my early teen years about what was happening and could or could not happen and how it could or could not happen. You know, biology, the facts.

But this new territory in front of which I stand is a bit scary and startling for me. This is the very same territory before which I have stood just a few short years ago. This time the territory has a new face, it has the face of my oldest boy, my second child.

I ache with pain as I see him go through the halting and haunting moments of hormonal surges through his body. I ache as I watch him struggle with all the confusing feelings. It’s like spinning in infinity at one moment that stops as quickly as it begins. He loves/hates/hurts/laughs all in a moment that feels like going from 90mph to 0mph in half a second. His is struggling to figure it out and balance it against what his head knows.
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Dear children,
I love and adore you with all my heart. Your are all growing and changing in so many ways. There seems to be a lot of hardships these days. Each one of you is being tested. We all are. Things are changing and moving out of your control. Life is shifting. And this is hard.

You are struggling to accept change, yours and others around you. Change is all around you. The seasons change. Spring becomes summer becomes fall becomes winter becomes spring again. While it seems a never ending cycle, with each new season there is growth abounding often unseen. What looks to be dormant or dead is changing or growing on the inside. Things are happening that the human eye can not see. In the winter when the trees are bare and fruitless they are not dead or dying, they are preparing for what is to come. They have shed their old leaves to prepare for the growth ahead. The tree tops grow taller. The branches grow longer in preparation for them to sprout new twigs and leaves. They shed their clothes because they no longer fit. They prepare themselves for what is to come. They make way for the beautiful garments that will clothe them in the spring. The buds burst forth and open with the beauty. They stand tall with an element of pride for the long hard work they have done. A short, but well deserved rest before they must do it again. The cycle repeats, but with each cycle they grow taller, stronger, fuller, more beautiful than the year before.

Trees in winter

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